Here I am, my last day in lovely Nova Scotia. Thought I’d try to get this post off before I get on the plane.
I’ve met some courageous folks this week, each on their own journey to a life that pleases and fulfills them. Each person I met is in the process of living a major transition in their life: changes that include letting go of a relationship, leaving home, joining a support program, or selling a business*.
Whatever transition we’re in, it can often include some lost, lonely and scary moments for most of us – even when they are changes we choose! The appropriate support can make all the difference in these moments. What I seem to be noticing this week is that support can be plentiful and right in arms reach but unless we’re willing to accept it, we aren’t likely to perceive it let alone reap the full range of benefits offered. In order to seek, see and receive that support it seems to me that we need to allow ourselves to be both vulnerable and courageous.
What helps us dance that delicate line between the two? How do we trust enough – both ourselves and the support offered – to let go and let come? For many of the folks I met this week they told me that what helped them was feeling listened to, non-judged, and accepted. I also heard that they themselves were ready for the change…there was personal desire and commitment.
But the crucial thing that seemed to matter the most for many was hearing someone they trusted say that they believed in them.
Being believed in when you’ve lost, buried or distorted your belief in yourself is a powerful thing. I’ve experienced that. What I’ve learned this week is that we could only hear that message (even if cautiously) if it somehow resonated with our wish, our longing, our own belief in ourselves: Yes, I am capable, worth it, lovable … (an artist!). The other person is simply shining a light, a mirror, an amplifier on something that already exists. Their belief in us comes in through our vulnerability, perhaps a small crack we’ve allowed in our armour, our defenses. It lets in that bit of light, warmth, and hope that can help us take the next step.
Look around…who or what support could you allow in today? Give yourself the gift of being vulnerable, of courageously accepting the support offered that you know – you feel in your body – is the truth. It is possible to be who you want to be and live the life you want to live.
* By the by, if the life you want is possibly owning a B & B in Nova Scotia, check out: http://www.bbcanada.com/bb_forsale/farmhouseinn