Woke up in the wee hours again today. Headache brewing. Despite some truly terrific things happening this week I’m feeling off. What is it?
I’m too busy with external commitments again. What happened to my commitment to myself, to substantial hours devoted to exploring art?
I think I have to accept that I have a personality or character or something that attracts busy-ness. If work isn’t filling my time I fill it with volunteer commitments, connecting with new and old friends, house chores, and probably problems I invent. I don’t say ‘No’ often enough or at least ‘Not right now’. I accommodate for a quick response – not for any martyr tendencies but because I am interested in doing whatever it is. The thing is that means I don’t say Yes to what I’ve identified as my priority.
Back to that thing about choices.
This week I’ve been trying to negotiate various meetings, trying to fit this person here, that person there, adjust the time with one person to accommodate another that has popped up. Some of it is work related so I add pressure to myself to find a way. And then…one by one, they each cancel.
The Universe heard and delivered. There’s space again. Will I choose wisely and according to my priorities? I intend to.
Follow up from last week: a song I wrote has been adopted as the Spirited Women theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iv7vHzfebw (I’d love to get your feedback.)