Over the past two months I've facilitated seven workshops, each one introducing and playing with my Living Aligned Framework, that colourful figure eight you have likely seen. That figure eight is meant to be a guide, a tool, for working through a murky tangle that life sometimes offers up. It's a simple structure that opens up and expands our awareness about ourselves and the situation, helping us gain understanding, clarity and possible strategies to try out - all in an effort to live more aligned with whatever is going on.
Despite it having been the foundation for each workshop, it has come to my attention that some folks barely noticed it. :) Though pretty much every person reported coming away with insights and next steps, it seems for some it didn't register that they now had a tool that they could keep in their back pocket and use in different situations.
That's fascinating and helpful feedback.
With this in mind, let me take a moment to walk you through the tool and a personal example of how I used it the other day.
I chose the figure eight symbol for this framework to reflect the fact that life is an ongoing, evolving flow of situations, relationships, challenges and celebrationst. We have an opportunity to learn about ourselves with each repeated pass. We choose how expansively we wish to live that life. Getting to know and care for ourselves is one of the most effective ways to find meaning and joy.
You may start anywhere along this eight shaped path. If you don't know your Intention yet ... go play with what kind of Support might help you get there...or what Beliefs might be creating the block. You start wherever you are at.
As you continue to repeatedly pass through each element, new information and ways of perceiving the situation reveals itself. The repetition and inter-relatedness of what is surfacing helps you focus in on what the true issue, feeling, need or desire is....then discover some strategies that help you move in that direction.
I often begin with my Intention or Vision, sometimes posed as a question, sometimes a statement. What am I trying to figure out? Is it something concrete and soon - like a meeting I am having in the afternoon or getting me to do my physio excercises more consistently? It could be an exploration into a particular relationship with someone that I am finding perplexing. Maybe it's something with a longer view...like how much money I want in my bank account when I retire or a milestone trip I want to take in two years. Perhaps I wish to explore a particular state of being, the way I want to feel more often (e.g.: be more joyful, calmly confident or more easy going).
Whatever has energy or needs your energy, is a great place to start. Especially emotional energy. Trust it. It's your body sending you a message.
Then I begin to explore what Beliefs I have about this Intention and myself in relationship to it. These beliefs might look like lists of those that are for what I want to move towards, and those that I see as against or holding me back. Forces for or forces against. What strikes me as I look at what I've written? Am I noticing any patterns in any of the lists that I made? Do I identify any values or principles that are underlying these beliefs? Are those values mine...or what I adopted from my family, my education, my culture? Are these things still true for me, today? Whether I listed them as for or against, what evidence do I have that acts as proof? Might there be another way of looking at it/them? Does the context offer any nuance to consider?
There are usually some things that have more of a charge ... I feel them in my body. My throat might constrict, tears may prick my eyes, there's a flutter in my gut or heart. I take particular interest in attending to these sensations or 'felt senses', staying curious and open. I may have an idea of what these mean and I note them on the eight.
I might then move down to the Support bubble and brainstorm the various ways I might receive support around this Intention or a related Belief. Is there a person I could talk to, an article or book I could read, a Youtube video or a workshop I could take? Could I find support to help me reframe any of my identified Beliefs such that they might be easier to live with? Is there a way to maybe soften my rigidity towards possible ways forward? Might I have a skill that I could be utilizing better, leaning on more or one that I could work on cultivating.
I find I often bounce between Beliefs and Support, making notes related to each statement I make. I may see some overlap or interesting connections between different aspects. Sometimes the process helps me realize that my Intention needs to be refined or even completely altered as I get more clarity on what I'm truly wanting. Each pass, opens up new ways of being with and understanding what is going on for me. I focus on listening, staying curious, identifying and untilizing my support systems.
Creativity is the fourth element that I currently see as a line that runs through it all. It's like a continous companion along the whole of the eight, offering new ways of perceiving what is. It's in the quirky questions, upside down perspectives, the nonverbal, artful, sensory, bodymind ways of knowing. I stay open to my intuition leading me. Sometimes I pull out my crayons, play dough, collage images and glue stick. Interesting and often unexpected inter-relationships are sometimes revealed. At the very least, I've stopped my spinning, increased my awareness and clarified a few things for myself. I've also fed my unconscious such that sometimes new ways of seeing and new ideas for addressing things show up a day or two later.
Let's walk through this example of mine from the other day. This probably took about 20 minutes at the time. It was spontaneous and intuitive; me just following the cues from what surfaced.
Intention: Making time to take in the online courses I've purchased. (Yes, I acknowledge the adjacent reality of FOMO and my tendancy to overcommit to things. That needs a parallel untangling process.)
As I worked through the figure eight I began to ask myself various questions like: Why does this matter to me? What values are showing up in the beliefs, both for and against what I want? What and where do I feel this in my body?
That led to the word "Integrity". I played with the word for a while, even looking it up in the dictionary. "Whole and undivided; living by ones principles/values; ethical and accountable." Then the word 'trustworthy' came to mind and I felt that in my body like a thud. That feeling in my body helped me to acknowledge the disconnect I was feeling inside. I am someone who likes to follow through on her commitments, even the ones to herself. I want to be trustworthy. I feel out of integrity (wholeness) when I am not. Managing that division inside takes up energy. No wonder I've been feeling so tired.
I spent a little time with each thread that surfaced, again following my intution as to what had a nugget of gold for me. What are my beliefs around my sense of responsibility and being flexible? Might there be new ways of perceiving and letting go that would lighten the pressure I have been placing on myself? Equally important is acknowledging my love of and excitment for learning. Some of the courses are related to my musical hobby, some to my work. Both feel important. I recognize my desire to be stimulated by new ideas and information that may enhance both my work and my musical abilities. Simply by noticing those two threads I identified a possible strategy: chunk it down, prioritize which courses I work on and accept that it's ok to put the others on the back burner. A reminder that it doesn't need to be everything all at once, that 'one step at a time' does move the needle forward. Even 30 minutes a week is better than none.
I also noticed that I had a slew of negative beliefs about myself and my abilities rising to the surface here, with statements that say things like "I'm bad at... ". Are these stories about myself true? Upon further investigation I might discover that some are old stories and it's time to update them to what is true now, today. Some statements may simply benefit from a tweaking of the language, one that is more compassionate and leaves more space for me to improve. "I'm getting better at ... " or "I'm finding ways to support and accommodate my challenges with... "
Back and forth between the Beliefs and Support bubble, brainstorming ways that might meet more than one need, ideas begin to flow. My awareness of what is most meaningful to me in this situation becomes more clear and more conscious.
In the days since playing with this particular tangle, I noticed that new choices/behaviours are being made daily because of this awareness. I still have a ways to go but I feel lighter and more 'aligned' with myself by having taken the time to unpack this particular situation.
I am definitely being more discerning about signing up for any more courses!
My journal is full of these figure eight scribbles ... sometimes taking up the whole page, sometimes just a quick squiggle in the bottom corner. There are figure eights on the back of random slips of paper, workshop notes, even napkins; little treasure maps to understanding myself or a situation a bit better.
The process can be as light or as deep as needed in that moment. It may be messy but it sure helps me feel and think my way through whatever is alive in me.
I hope that you will give this Living Aligned figure eight tool a try. If you do, I would love to hear about your experience with it, including where it does or doesn't make sense for your situation. Comment below or send me a private email with a note.
It would be a pleasure to see you at one of our next community gatherings, Self-care Practice or workshop.
Here's to our collective well-being.